whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
