You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
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Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
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so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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