just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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