you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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