Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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