I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
