Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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