Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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