i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
