Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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