there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
