We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
