I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
