why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
