that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
