You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
