I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
