Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
