He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I wear drunk well.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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