I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
