Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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