how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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