I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
