u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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