Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
