so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
