i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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