I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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