She announced her abortion via fbk
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
