Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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