so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
