What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
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If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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