i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
