I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize