we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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