The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
