I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
