my vag is so smooth its legendary
I need to stop coming to work sober
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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