sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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