Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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