Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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