it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
