You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize