i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
