If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
