so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
