my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
