So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
