I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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