He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
