You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
