Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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