I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
