You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Alive.
So much puke
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
