She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
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He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
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Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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