so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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