Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
