do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
