my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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