I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
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