Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
